Tristan started school a couple of months ago. And while on the surface, I have been a cool and collected mom, beneath the surface, I’ve been awash with anxiety about every little thing, but mostly about fitting in. Tristan fitting in with the ‘cool’ kids.
When I have trouble getting back to sleep after being woken up by Elena, these are the thoughts that go through my mind. Will Tristan fit in? Will he have friends that are in the ‘in’ crowd? Will he not be left alone at the sideline of things? I have absolutely no idea what constitutes nowadays as ‘in’ and ‘cool’, but a part of me wants that for him. Life is easier, more carefree, and often a lot more fun when you're 'in'.
However, reading this article got me thinking: Should I want that for Tristan? Will being cool make him a caring, confident, sensitive, and likeable human being? Will buying him the right stuff to help him fit in bring out the best in him? Will I be selling him short if I don’t or if I do?
I’m trying, especially after reading the article, to just let him be and to let him seek out his own path. Seeing as how he is only four years old, he’s happiest when I build something with him or when he plays with his school friends. He doesn’t know about ‘cool’ yet, so maybe it’s time for me to stop worrying about it so much.
Elena is not the only reason why I’m sleep deprived.
Let me know what your thoughts are on this troubling subject. What are the questions that keep you awake at night?